Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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