I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
