Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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