just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
