FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
