Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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