when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize