I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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