i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
