i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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