At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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