I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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