I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
