dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
