but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
