Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
