She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
