my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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