Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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