Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
