it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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