He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize