Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
thus making me awesome and them whores
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
