so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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