Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
