You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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