The maid of honor just puked.
only if we run a train.
done.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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