She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
