I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
