So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
