if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
