So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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