so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
