I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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