he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize