Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize