he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
this is an emotional support booty call
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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