i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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