I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
