How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
