she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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