Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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