Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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