how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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