is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
