i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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