you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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