I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
