walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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