I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My feet surprised me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
