you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
