What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
