I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
