dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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