Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
