So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize