I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
