I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
