I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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