is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize