I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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