One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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