How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
