thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
