Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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