He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
