so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
