$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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