that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
