Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
